Family Themes

I have realized over the years of parenting that from the time they are born and so far through our homeschool years certain things define the way we parent, teach and interact with our kids. Some themes that seem to continually reoccur over time. Blogging has helped me realize a lot of those themes because I tend to write about similar things often.

1. Reading
We read to them all the time. We encourage them to read. We demonstrate to them how much we read. Reading is definitely a central theme in our family. We are readers and we are raising readers. We all spend a good portion of our days reading. We read books, magazines, comics, websites really anything. We talk about what we read, we talk about what we want to read, we read after dinner as a family. I think they will all grow up remembering reading.

2. Nature
Exploring, discovering and enjoying nature is an important part of our family. We spend lots of time outdoors but also indoors at locations like nature centers, zoos, and arboretums. We hike, we camp, we geocache, we bike, we play lawn bowling and frisbee together. We often just walk together as a family around our neighborhood and around different area parks. We really encourage exploring and loving nature like Ciaran's love of frogs, Sirah loving owls and their desire to touch and examine all of nature around them. We encourage nature note booking and free exploration.

3. Faith

We are raising our kids with a strong faith. We try to live out our faith, we try to give them examples of what that means and to model it for them. We teach them about God and morality. We do our best to live according to our beliefs, we offer them materials to learn from and experiences and activities that support and encourage their own faith. We answer tough questions and are trying to raise them to have a faith of their own not just a "because my parents said so" faith. Our faith is often expressed and lived out in the small everyday details of our lives.

4.Experiences
We try to offer a lot of experiences to our kids. Our favorite family saying "One never knows what this crazy clan will do!" We bring them along with us to a wide variety of places and to meet a variety of people. We take them campaigning and to political rallies, to the art museum and book signings, to the orchestra, Irish and Scottish festivals, caving, to all the museums (not just the zoo and childrens), petroglyphs, farms and skyscrapers. Basically if we would go there they will go there with very few exceptions. And we take them to all the possible crazy places you can think of to take a child on a field trip. We always try to make it fun and often, though not always, educational. If we have read about it I will try to find a way to bring it to life for them in a more tangible way.

5. Travel
We travel a lot. We have family scattered throughout the country and many in wonderful vacation spots such as New York, Maine, Chicago and Southern California. We take them to visit relatives and see the sites. We take them places we want them to experience. I think if we were suddenly to become millionares this is the piece that would increase the most. When we were learning about the pharaohs and we talked about the exhibit in Texas Rhiannon asked if we could go there on a field trip as if it was around the corner. Ciaran piped up and said wouldn't it be better to just go to Egypt? How nice it would be! Ciaran and I have an agreement that when he is older we are going to travel to the rainforest and jungle together even if no one else comes with us. Sirah really wants to go to London because that is where her special bear is from. Rhiannon would love to visit Rome and Ireland. All of them want to go explore caves around the United States and the world. I suppose we have taught them to dream big and that travel is a wonderful thing. I did however sit Rhiannon down the year she was 7 and explain that this is not "normal" life to get to travel to the beaches of Southern California, New York City, Walt Disney World and the retreat of Maine all in the same year. We talked about how privileged we really were. I think we have given them all travel bugs much like our own since we have not stopped traveling because we have kids.

6. History/Philosophy
We have a love of history and philosophy. While they may seem an odd mix in a lot of ways they are not. If you looked at our home collection of books you would see a ton of philosophy, history and political books, along with a smattering of science books. Serona has a passion for philosophy and I have a passion for history. We will watch family movies and documentaries that show this love along with our love of nature. We take field trips and family outings to places of historical significance or places that bring alive history. We talk in ways that promote philosophy, logic and argument. We even are beginning to see it in the communication and choices of our kids. This has led to a lot of inquisitiveness in our kids and that is a wonderful thing even as we answer Why or How for the millionth time. Those two subjects I think really inform us of who we are and how we got here both in experience and in our minds and choices. I am glad that is an important theme for us.

7. Music
We all have an appreciation for music and Serona can play music. Music is a part of our daily life. We often listen to some classical music, show tunes but mostly now we are listening to Christian music we all like as a family. We have music streaming on our computers, the kids each have their own cd or mp3 player in their room, we listen in the car and on the go. We sing songs together, we in general enjoy each others music and we all like listening to it. Music has been a unifier for our family and given us yet another area of shared experiences as a family both for educational and mostly just for fun purposes.

8. Video Games
This one is harder for me to admit but it is reality - we are a video game family. I grew up playing video games. I have more limited taste in the types of games I enjoy. Nintendo Wii is a good fit for me personally and for our family. We also have an Xbox 360 system that Serona mostly uses. We play together as a family, the kids play together and Serona or Ciaran will play alone. I used to be really hesitant about this screen time but I realize how many more hours in a day my kids really have with homeschooling, they really do have more free time and when chores, school, reading, outside/exercise time is over if they want to play video games that is fine by me. So they get more video game time than people might think they would get in our house. It is social and fun for them and sometimes even for me. I really am a fan of the Wii system - it is a great family console.

9. Board Games
Not only do we enjoy video games but we play lots of board games. We play as a family and often I play with the kids. The kids will play certain games on their own as well. We have a TON of games, card and board games and I do manage to purge every few years but I amazed at how many different games we really do play. We have certain favorites we come back to time and time again but in general we play a lot of games. I see Ciaran have my competitive nature and Rhiannon having Serona's "It's just fun to play" attitude which sometimes makes it difficult to play all together a game like Blokus. I like that we play games together I think it promotes a lot of good things and offers lots of great life learning experiences.

10. Activism
We are an activist family in a lot of ways. We have been politically involved as families and individuals for a long time. We try to stay on top of important issues and participate in the ways we can. We are raising our kids to see the importance of being an involved citizen and they get to see the frustrations that go along with that involvement as well. We are volunteers in different areas of our lives, advocates in others and activists in still others. The commonality of this is teaching our kids they need to be aware and informed of what is going on in the world around them. They also need to be ready to stand up and defend their beliefs and those things that are important to them. We are trying to equip them with the necessary tools to be an involved and active citizen in all areas of their lives by teaching them and demonstrating them for them.

Together these themes often come out in our parenting and homeschooling choices with our kids. While they don't encapsulate everything about us and we are not consitent that we live all of these all the time - they give you a fairly good picture of the way we exist as a family and some of the things important to us all.

Peace,
Tenniel

Their Own Music

Our family loves music, all kinds of music and we listen to a lot of it often. As they get older they have started developing their own tastes - limited still by what we choose to let them listen to in the first place. For awhile they were content to just listen to the playlists we made for them on our yahoo music account or their playlists on my zune. A few months ago I made Rhiannon her own cd and she loved it, the kids started fighting over it and wanted to have their own but with some of her songs and some of their own favorites. Recently I took some time to make them their own cd's, Rhiannon has moved on to an mp3 player - so I just add the songs she likes when she wants them. Her play lists have gotten too long to list (some of her favorites are Relient K, Casting Crowns, Rich Mullins, her dad, Andy Cooney, Sara Groves and Hawk Nelson)but here is the recent CD I made for Ciaran:


I Can't Wait - Sara Groves
California - Hawk Nelson
Supernatural - Hillsong Kids
Head on Collison - Hawk Nelson
On the March - Hillsong Kids
This is Your Life - Switchfoot
Made to Love You - Tobymac
The Cartoon Song - Chris Rice
The Story of Chess - Broadway Chess recording
Ain't Easy Being Green - Kermit the Frog
Life of a Salesman - Yellowcard
Watching You - Rodney Atkins
Boy Like You/Man Like Me - Rich Mullins
I'll Do My Best - Go Fish
To God Be the Glory - Group Publishing VBS
Jesus Take the Wheel - Carrie Underwood
Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus) - Chris Rice
Never Underestimate My Jesus - Relient K
Fireflies - Faith Hill
Starfish -Sara Groves
Pooh Corner - Kenny Loggins
Rainbow Connection - Kenny Loggins

Here is Sirah's most recent cd (there is quite a bit of overlap with Ciaran's):
I Can't Wait - Sara Groves
I'll Do My Best - Go Fish
God Will Never Stop Loving You - Karyn Henley
Supernatural - Hillsong Kids
Big Bad Billy - Go Fish
This Little Light of Mine - Go Fish
To be a cat - Aristocats soundtrack
Jesus Take the Wheel - Carrie Underwood
Never Underestimate my Jesus - Relient K
You're My Little Girl - Go Fish
Whole New World - Alladin soundtrack
Beautiful Child - Sara Groves
Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman
Fireflies - Faith Hill
Pooh Corner - Kenny Loggins
In My Daughters Eyes - Martina McBride
Pray for Me - Michael W. Smith
Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)- Chris Rice
All the Pretty ponies - Kenny Loggins

You know when it comes down to it this was a very simple thing to do for my children and they really appreciate it. They often go in their room to play and listen to the CD and they usually fall asleep to it. It was a simple gift that was tailored to their likes and a way to share something important to us all - music.

A simple gift to give your children if you have a cd burner. Amazon has a great collection of non-DRM music that you can purchase individual songs if you don't own them. Of course most of my children's choices we already owned because that is what they listen to - though they did request a few songs specifically they heard on the radio or elsewhere. I know our kids appreciate it ages 8, 7 and 4.

Teen Christian Music Class

This semester I am teaching a very fun class at our homeschool cooperative - a class that practically teaches itself and has been interesting for the students and fun for me. Our co-op is Christian based and I thought teaching a music class would be a lot of fun, discussing contemporary music and what it means, how it makes us feel, etc. I gave the students the one guideline that all the music they chose had to be on a Christian label and be acceptable to their own parents - otherwise anything went. Any music style and we have seen quite a few from pop to heavy rock, alternative to praise, rap to ballads, latin to punkish. It has been interesting and fun. Class discussion has been good and everyone seems to be enjoying it.

Before class began I asked the students to fill out a survey of music they liked and did not like, list their top ten bands and pick ten songs to discuss in class. We have 15 students (7 boys and 8 girls, ages 13-17) so that was 150 songs to chose from. There were some students who did not offer 10 songs and there was quite a bit of overlap in favorite songs and bands. I still had a lot to chose from for just 6 weeks of 55 minute class sessions.

The plan was each week for them to listen to the music at home ahead of time and have the lyrics available to be read and then discuss the songs in class. The first week of class we opened with some discussion and focus for the class. I discussed music as modern day poetry and talked about the power of lyrics. We talked about how music raises certain emotions and thoughts in us, charging us up or helping us to mellow out.

To illustrate the point that sometimes the medium is the message (the music itself creates the message irregardless of lyrics) I played three very different versions of the same song - a Christmas carol, Angels we have heard on high. One version was typical Christmas chorus with a big choir, another version was a Celtic folk version and the last was a rock/punk version done by a band that made 80% of the top 10 bands list for all the students (interestingly one of the few to cross gender lines).

Lastly I set up five loose classifications or groupings for the purpose/meaning of the music we would listen to. I mostly did this to facilitate class discussion and provide some easy tools to begin listening to and looking at music differently. I think it helped the students to evaluate the music more and initially dig in a bit below the surface. As class progressed this tool was used less and less (as I hoped it would be) as they moved into richer discussion about the songs. Still every once in awhile we come back to these groups as they provide a common understanding and a simple way to express a bunch of similar things about songs.

Here they are:

Praise/Worship -
fairly easy to spot and label - church, youth group, KTIS, directly to or about God. Most often personal about you and God. Good praise and worship should not be a song you can replace your girlfriend or boyfriends name in - but is unique to God. Much is watered down praise so people can stick loved ones names instead. Modern day psalms

Dealing with the World -
Discussing every day issues and world events through music and the way we need to manage them. Sometimes strategies are offered, sometimes just emotions or causes are expressed. often it will be a mix of all. Relationships, politics, health issues, families, etc

Faith Strengthening and reminding -
written for Christians to remind and encourage them to stand strong in their faith. Casting Crowns, Caedmons Call, Jars of Clay


Evangelism -
Drawing others to the faith with good music and a positive message in the lyrics. most often crossover bands - bands that sound like popular mainstream music

Just for Fun -
most music has a message to it but occasionally you really find some songs that are just pure fun.

Then the fun began. I won't go into all the class discussion here but it was very interesting and I think in the end the students are getting a lot out of it. I would say they definitely feel a sense of ownership as they have picked the music themselves. For the most part all the songs I have selected for the class discussion have come from those initial lists and their band and song preferences. Interestingly I did not end up just choosing their top 3 songs from each list or any simple thing like that. Rather I spent a lot of time listening to ALL the music and selecting a subset of it that offered variety, exposure to lots of musical tastes and styles and went across all the above mentioned categories. Each week we had about 10 songs to choose from for class discussion usually only making it through around 5 sometimes 7 of the songs. In the end I think they had a good mix of music. We are just at the halfway point now - though all the music has been selected, so I will have to give a final class overview.


If you teach this or a similar class you should poll your own students and let them choose the music so they have ownership of the class. I chose Christian labels as a guideline for the class because it filtered out a lot of material I may not have wanted to wade through or enter with some of the younger students and it provided a clear bright line for our class. It also offered parents a certain amount of comfort at what may or may not be talked about and from what general perspectives. That boundary may not be necessary for some others and this could easily be taught in a secular way, you just may have to filter through more.

I think one of the important keys to this class was letting them give me the big set of music to choose from and still maintaining control over what I selected and presented to the group from that. I then gave them back some more control by allowing them to vote on which songs to discuss for the week (from the subset of 10 I had selected for the week). It also allowed me to balance musical tastes and show a wide variety of styles and messages within the class. I had had the freedom to focus discussion in a week around a particular topic (ie different worship styles, different "world issue" songs, and so on).

I really want to compliment my students for the respectful way they dealt with fellow students and music they truly did not care for. Out of 40 songs we have gone through to this point only 1 song has been unanimously liked. Yet they were able to engage with others and share their thoughts and feelings about the music. Some songs brought out strong differing opinions in the students and some others led to different understandings of what the song was about and what it might mean. Overall it has been fun and interesting to getting to know the students more through the music they like as well as the music they don't. They have offered a lot of insight to each other and hopefully learned a few things about themselves, others, music and the world through the process. If nothing else it has been fun for us all.

Our list of songs:

Week One and Two
Lift - Carried Away
Breathe into Me - Red
Strong Tower - Kutless
We Win! -David Crowder Band
What This World Needs - Casting Crowns
America's Next Freak - FM Static
Shine - Newsboys
5 Minutes of Fame - Barlow Girl
Time and Confusion - Anberlin
Free - Rachael Lampa

Awakening - Switchfoot
Be My Escape - Relient K
Is Forever Enough - Hawk Nelson
For the Moments I feel faint - Relient K
Thank God I'm Not the One - The Afters
You're Not There - Jaci Velasquez
Famous One - Chris Tomlin
Made to Love - Toby Mac
You - Britt Nicole
Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus) - Chris Rice
Angels we Have Heard on High - Relient K


Week Three
California - Hawk nelson
Cartoons - Chris Rice
Come Right Out and Say It - Relient K
Dare you to Move - Switchfoot
Deeper Life - Natalie Grant
Eschuchame (listen to me) Jaci Velasquez
I'll Get Over It (Miss elaineous) Everyday Sunday
Jesus Freak - DC Talk
Love Hate (On and On) Disciple

Week Four
Mountain of God - Third Day
Never Alone - Barlowgirl
Never Been Unloved - Michael W. Smith
Ooh Aah - Grits
Paperthin Hymn - Anberlin
Phenomenon - Thousand Foot Krutch
SecondHand Dreaming - Ruth
Upside Down - Zoegirl
We Need Each Other - Sanctus Reel
Whispers in the Dark - Skillet
You - Switchfoot

Week Five
The Everglow - Mae
You LIft Me Up - Rachael Lampa
Speaking in Tongues - The Elms
Dive - Steven Curtis Chapman
Never Take Friendship Personal - Anberlin
Those Nights - Skillet
The Innocent -Kutless
Learn to Breathe - Thousand Foot Krutch
You're My Little Girl - Go Fish
Here I am to Worship - Passion Worship Band

Week Six
Wake Up! Wake Up! - Everyday Sunday
What I thought I wanted - Sara Groves
Who I am Hates Who I've Been - Relient K
This is Your Life - Switchfoot
Head on Collision - Hawk Nelson
Wherever We Go - Newsboys
Why Do I DO - Jump 5
If We Are the Body - Casting Crowns
What if I Stumble - DC Talk
Oh Gravity - Switchfoot

Babysitter's Music

Okay does it make us strange that we listen to much of the same music as our babysitters? We use streaming internet radio for our primary music and since our babysitters have no television options when they are at our house we have shown them how to use our music service and allow them to save their own playlists.


I came home recently one night to discover that more than half of the music on her playlist I listen to and I tried out some of her other bands and enjoyed them. This is not a unique circumstance. About a year ago with a new babysitter she came in the door and Serona was singing one of her favorite songs.

Now I am sure that loads of our music they would not enjoy but we do have a bit of overlap. I must give the credit (or fault?)for this to Serona as I would not have purposefully discovered some of these bands but over time I have come to enjoy them.

Serona and I have very different taste in music for the most part since I focus on lyrics and he focuses on chords and riffs the music not the words. He also grew up loving heavy heavy music where I had a short lived fling with heavy metal music and then gave it completely up and can barely tolerate anything of the like anymore. But the more punky music I enjoy so long as the lyrics are okay (which in many they are not). You see I am trying to find some common ground music with Serona as much of the loud music he really enjoys have lyrics that I simply can not stand and I can't even listen because of that. Furthermore some of the bands use screaming (literally) as another instrument and no matter how much Serona tries to explain it to me I simply don't "appreciate" it the way he does. So in my search for common ground I found harder Christian music (which has improved considerably over the years). Basically if I admit to it this common ground is simply put teenager music. So that is why my babysitters like the same music because truthfully we like their music.


The Christian Sonshine Music festival for Minnesota was recently not that far from us. Serona and I looked over the list and really wanted to go as we really enjoy a lot of the bands who were there. We decided it would simply be too much for our little ones. Several of my friends were taking their teenage sons to the concerts and I wondered a bit if that was weird because I can not even pretend it is my kids music since they are 8 6 and 3 and not interested at all in much of this music. In the end it is probably just as well I did not go so it would not come up in the fall when I teach these kids in our homeschool cooperative.


Serona and I are used to being the babies of our friends and especially within the homeschool community. My friends are great and accepting of the age difference and we all get along as if there was no difference and really we are not that far apart though music is an area where it tends to show up more. Both in what we like now and in what the music of our childhood/teens and college years were. I guess realizing that I really do enjoy the music of many of my friends kids and not because I wanted to learn to like the music of that generation was weird to me. I guess it is just one more thing like the Star Wars thing for us. Maybe some day it will be used for good and I can teach a music class or something since this fall I am teaching a Star Wars class.

Playlist for Rhiannon

As I type this I am putting the finishing touches on a CD for Rhiannon. This is based off of some of her favorite songs and some songs with special meaning for us.

I Can't Wait - Sara Groves
Fatou Yo - Toure Kunda
Little Bitty - Alan Jackson
Help Pour out the Rain - Buddy Jewel
When New York Was Irish - Andy Cooney
Awesome God - Rich Mullins
I Want to Know You - Serengeti Trek
Let Us Pray - Serengeti Trek
Star Girl - Serona
No Matter What - Beauty and the Beast
My Little Girl - Tim McGraw
Prayers for this child - Sara Groves
Must Be Done in Love - Serengeti Trek
Station Wagon - Sara Groves
Have I Told You Lately That I Love You - Van Morrison
Jesus Take the Wheel - Carrie Underwood
More Love, More Power - Serengeti Trek
More Than You'll Ever Know - Watermark
Fireflies - Faith Hill
A Lot Like Me - Sara Groves
She's a Butterfly - Martina McBride
Small Piece of You - Sara Groves
In My Daughter's Eyes - Martina McBride
Wish for You - Faith Hill
May There Always be Sunshine - Sarah Pirtle