August 31, 2009

Staying at Home

Choosing to stay at home was not in my plans for my life. A dozen years ago if you had me glimpse into my future I would not have pictured the life I lead today, nor would a single soul around me. I was a determined and motivated young woman with a lot of goals and grit to get there or so I thought. In 1996 if asked what will you be doing in 2009 my answer would likely have been working for an environmental law firm, or possibly coaching a college debate team, not the answer any of my regular readers who have likely guessed.

Not yet married and getting ready to start my masters program in Rhetoric and Argument I would not have guessed I would go on to spend the next dozen years at home raising young kids and eventually homeschooling them. I would not see the inside of an office building except to pick up my husband or sign some legal papers over the years. I would have very little need for any shoes other than my birkenstocks and tennis shoes. I would be happier and more content than I ever imagined.

Staying at home was not a choice that came naturally to me. When Serona and I first got married and talked about having kids I was sure I could not be the stay at home parent. We both agreed a stay at home parent was ideal if not necessary and would be an important goal of our family, we just expected it to be him and not me (or at least I did). I was not patient, I was not tender, patient, supportive or interested in spending a lot of time with young children so I thought. I planned to go on and work and when the time came he could stay home and I would continue to work. Obviously that has not been the case and it continued far longer than we ever expected.

When Maria was born something inside of me completely changed and I was able to make a transition to being a stay at home mom much easier than I ever anticipated and along the way the idea of going back to work started to disappear from my radar. There were things I missed, trade offs I knew I was making and days I thought I would go crazy from being alone all day in the house with a small helpless completely dependent and demanding human being who could not communicate other than by crying.

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