September 23, 2008

Those tender hearts

My children have the sweetest most generous hearts on some days - today was one of them. We went to see a production of Madeline at our Children's Theater. It was well done - it included a very exciting circus type performance which the kid really enjoyed. However sitting for over three hours with just short breaks in between threw my back into a tailspin and by the time we got home I was in quite a bit of pain.

Overall my back has been doing better. I have resumed physical therapy and yesterday I had a full appointment including trigger point massage, intense stretching, manipulation and ultrasound - so to say I was sore today is mildly describing it. Add to that three hours of sitting (my least comfortable position after about 15 minutes) and I had to spend the remainder of the day horizontal.

My kids were really sweet though. Ciaran cooked dinner, making Black Bean nachos. Sirah, not a huge fan of black beans, convinced Rhiannon to make her an alternate plate of nachos with refried beans. After dinner the kids did all the dishes and wiped the counters then went away into Rhia's room and were quietly cooperating on something. They came out shortly after with an hour long performance designed to cheer me up. They had prepared dancing, singing, guitar playing, acrobatic performances and other fun little acts. I held my breath when Ciaran nearly launched Sirah over an exercise ball and prayed we were not heading to the emergency room. All is well and they are all tucked safely and soundly in beds sleeping now.

The entire purpose of the show was to make me forget about my pain and to smile. They really have sweet spirits and when they decide to they can play so nicely together. After the performance was completed they even willingly cleaned up. There was much discussion about who would sleep where tonight and Rhiannon even offered to let Sirah sleep in her bed, a true treat for Sirah and truly an act of service for Rhiannon. Ciaran has placed himself on our bedroom floor and everyone is now asleep.

I love my kids, and on days like this, even when I am in a lot of pain I really realize how truly blessed I am with special children. They love me so much and it has been a hard year on them seeing mom in chronic pain but still they do all they can to make my day a little brighter or easier. Multiple times through the day either Ciaran or Sirah would just come up to me and wrap their arms around me in a big hug or give me a kiss. Rhiannon would check in and see if I needed anything and I am pretty sure she organized the after dinner performances.

Sometimes I struggle with mommy guilt over the limitations my pain has put on me and I want to be "old mommy" as the kids sometimes refer to. At other times though I see the growth this year has led to in all members of our family and I am thankful for that. Days like this make me so thankful for my children and their tender hearts. Tomorrow will be a better day when I can cook and clean and shower them with the love and attention they need to - but I am thankful that in my time of need their responses were to be generous and tender with me.

Kiss those babies,


  1. Hi Tenniel,
    I have enjoyed your blog for a while now but have never posted. Sorry to hear about your back. I'm touched by your focus on the blessing your children are in your life. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Hi Tenniel,
    I've enjoyed reading your posts for a while now but have never commented before. So sorry to hear about your back pain. I'm touched to read about your positive focus--gratitude for the blessing that your children are in your life.
    Thanks for sharing.

  3. Can you send the kids to stay with Grandpa for a week. This is one of the many reasons that Family is so important in life. SO be prepared to take care of your old man when he breaks down. :)

    Love you all

    Family Forever