August 15, 2003

Still Pregnant...While technically not due until Monday, I feel VERY overdue as this prodromal labor has been carrying on now for three full weeks! Tonight seems especially hard as the baby has taken complete control over my body and is rolling and jumping and lots of other movements that make it impossible for me to sleep or relax! I've already taken my nightly sleeping pill (a doctor requirement for me - so I atleast get 4 hours of sleep a night) and it seems not to be working tonight. I am really uncomfortable, I feel like the 9 month train wreck has hit and I am not recovering.

Of course I know this is normal, and this is the end of the pregnancy and bottom line is she has to come out sometime, but is it wrong to want that time to come soon? I have been patient now for quite a while. Well it doesn't seem to matter much what I think, feel and want, she is simply not ready to come out yet and will not be persuaded to change her mind. Suppose I shouldn't be surprised to have a right minded and stubborn child huh?

So here I sit after an hour playing Tetris on Serona's handheld IPAC I gave up laying down and came to take my perch upon my big "birth ball" one of those rubber balls you use for yoga or exercise. You see for the past few days I have had to completely change my sitting/laying and movement methods as the midwives believe that the baby is posterior and that may be contributing to my prodromal labor and the contractions that are not having any cervial change effects. So I spend my days and evenings rolling around the house on this ball or crawling around on my hands and knees. Well noone will tell me I am not doing my part!

But tonight I have tried a variety of things and nothing seems to make either herself or me comfortable enough to get some sleep or even relax and lay peacefully in bed. Perhaps that will be good, perhaps she will feel cramped enough to want to come out! Here is to hope atleast.

Well thanks for listening to my tirade, I promise this will get better once everything settles down with the baby.


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