February 14, 2007

Why I love Serona

I am blessed with a husband who is also my best friend. We began our relationship as friends and our friendship has always grown stronger. We are confidants, we are lovers, we are spouses, we are parents, we are partners and we are best friends among other things. Over the years Serona has demonstrated his very romantic side from having a barbershop quarter serenade me to writing me his own music for me. He has surprised me with a limo and a night on the town with my girlfriends, with flowers just because and now with a trip to Ireland.

But it is the little every day things that make our marriage so strong. It is when he makes time for me in the middle of a busy day at work just so I can talk. It is when he calls on his way home every day to see if there is anything he can stop to get or we need. It is the way he rubs my back at the end of a long day. The way he lets me read the new Harry Potter first. The way he supports and encourages my newest crazy hobby. The way he puts up with the fact that I just simply don't see cobwebs or some messes in corners. The way he lets me have 6 bags, one for each different activity and several for knitting. It is the fact that he works really crazy hours in an intense job and then gives us 100% at home. The way he adjusted to not watching television. The way he accepts "The little kid lived in look" as our home decorating style right now.

It is the fact that he lets me sleep in without complaint. It is the way he nurses me when I am sick. The way he argues with me when I am wrong. The way he helps me improve the person I am (even when I don't think I need to). It is the way he leads our home spiritually. It is the way he keeps me up to date technologically. It is the way he reads bedtime stories to the kids (I will never be able to compete with the voices). It is the way he wrestles with Ciaran and gives all three kids camel rides on the floor. It is the way he embraces the Mall of America as a fun family day. The fact that he eats the same simple convenient meals over and over again and then again as leftovers.

The way he accepts that I listen to country music and he listens to heavy music I can't even classify. It is the way he sings Fireflies in the car with the kids. The way he takes the kids on dates. The way he keeps me as a priority. The way he has kept loving me through all my downs and temper tantrums. The way he cleans the house when I am away or behind. The fact that he really does completely take care of the dogs. It is the way we got married to argue more conveniently.

There are simply too many reasons to list. Sure we have our downs and our fights and our battles too. That is when our Irish make-up bell comes in. What is that you ask? It is essential to any stubborn couple. When we are both unwilling to bend or break first (think George and Christina in Grey's Anatomy) it settles the battle for us. When we are too angry or frustrated or sure we are right to give in but really just want to stop arguing and have it all be over, we ring our little bell.

This is a china bell we got for our wedding (actually it has been replaced once due to kids) and it is our make-up bell. Whenever one of us rings it somewhere in the house the other person needs to come right away to where they are. The bell signifies a truce I suppose, but it is much more than that. It is an automatic apology on both sides and an agreement that we have now reached the stupid point in arguing/discussing and we need to move on. It is a concession of our wrongs and a forgiveness of the other persons. It is an automatic get out of jail free card. However you want to look at it or put it - it means the argument is over no more question or discussion. Neither person won, but we have both agreed to not make our marriage be the loser.

It may sound crazy or trivial but it really works for us. At least it has for almost 10 years so far. And we have had some stubborn moments and fights that do not want to end. Sometimes it takes a lot of strength to ring that bell and sometimes we are so thankful the other person did it first but overall we are just thankful that our marriage is strong enough and we love each other so much that the little sound of a bell can remind us what it is all about.

So yes to be sure I love Serona's romantic side and all the wonderful creative and sweet things he thinks up to do for me to show his love. But mostly I just love him, the good, the bad and yes even the ugly moments of our fights. I am so thankful to be his wife and to be parents together and to be walking along this path of life together holding hands still as best friends.


  1. emmie johnson1:21 AM

    This is absolutely wonderful to read...thanks for sharing your wonderful experiences...and true friendship never fades away..it just keeps getting stronger all the time...well on this more i'd also like you to visit my Friendship Blog sometime and share some of the stuff i've posted there!!!

  2. What a sweet, sweet tribute to your beloved. :) And, may the Lord keep making your hearts more and more as one. And, keep on ringing that bell as needed! :)