Preschoolers On Strike!

Preschoolers On Strike!
Tots Abandon Circle Time - Demand Lap Time!

Friday, April 1, 2005 Posted: 9:48 AM EST (1448 GMT)

Washington, D.C. (UP) -- In a show of solidarity, preschool students
throughout the country refused to go to preschool today, demanding
more time at home with mom and dad. Tired of being prematurely
pushed out their homes and into classrooms where regimented academic
instruction has stunted their intellectual, social, and emotional
development, tiny tots utilized a nationwide "Tantrum-In" at 9:00 AM
EST to get their message across to their parents loud and clear.

"Stop the preschool hype!" one pint-sized demonstrator shouted as he
hurled his sippy cup across the kitchen. "Don't you know that there
is overwhelming scientific evidence that I learn better through
imaginative play right here at home, with you?"

Today's incident came just two days after the RAND Corporation
released a report that suggests public universal preschool programs
for all would return between $2 and $4 in benefits for every dollar
expended. The militant activist group "Tykes On Trikes" insists the
findings are skewed, biased, and paid for by organizations that
stand to gain from institutionalizing little kids, such as teacher's
unions.

A spokestoddler for the group went so far as to claim
that, "Publicly funded universal preschool for all programs are a
feat of social engineering to groom human resources for corporate
profit." Citing studies compiled by Stanford University's Hoover
Institution research fellow, Mary Eberstadt, in her book, Home Alone
America, the diminutive representative warned
that, "Institutionalizing young children can damage them
psychologically, emotionally, socially and physically. That damage
to children extends to the society at large. Collective research
from child development and brain research experts provides
overwhelming scientific evidence that contradicts the distortions
prevalent in the popular media that preschool is the best place for
young children. The experts have concluded that a nurturing home
life full of imaginative play will foster initiative, intellectual
curiosity, social empathy, and self-esteem resulting in a happy
child with a life-long love of learning."

One mom, distraught after her child smeared bubble gum all over her
school clothes and hair, called 911 for advice. A rescue team was
dispatched with peanut butter to clean up the goo. Reporters,
alerted to the dispatch, requested an interview with the tiny
demonstrator who said, "Preschool is a stupid, boring waste of my
time. I just want to stay home and read storybooks cuddled in my
mommy's lap." With tear-filled eyes, the mother cut short the
question-and-answer session saying, "Thank you all for coming, but
I'm going to read to my daughter now."

Parents all over the country reported similar incidents of
disgruntled tots refusing to attend preschool. After a morning of
reading stories, going for walks in the neighborhood, talking and
baking cookies together one parent commented, "I had forgotten how
much fun it is to spend time with my child. Her natural curiosity
drove our morning -- we read, learned about nature on our walk, and
I even taught her about measurement when we were baking! Maybe she
doesn't need public preschool after all."

Members of the more moderate group, Preschoolers Uncomfortable with
Preschool (PUP), staged a small, impromptu group tantrum at a local
park in one suburban city today. Children refused to share their
sandbox toys until their parents agreed they didn't have to go to
preschool today. PUP representatives Kaitlyn and Ethan, applauded
the parents decision not to invoke disciplinary measures against the
protestors.

PUP also issued a written statement complimenting parents for
their "graciousness" in dealing with today's demonstrations. They
advised parents to get more information about how to encourage a
love of learning in the first five years of life by visiting the
brand new website: www.UniversalPreschool.com.

They also announced the first annual "Parents Play with Preschoolers
at Home Day" that will take place on Friday, April 15th.
Traditionally income tax filing day, PUP representatives chose the
day to protest tax dollars being spent on government mandated and/or
funded preschool-for-all programs. Said one young protestor, "I
encourage all of my fellow tax deductions to stay home and play and
learn with their parents on April 15th."

Parents can get free, fun activities they can do with their
preschooler every day of the year that encourage a love of learning
in the first five years of life by visiting:
www.UniversalPreschool.com. This continuously updated collection of
innovative games and activities that teach while they entertain not
only helps children develop academic readiness skills, but more
importantly, the activities will help parents learn how to use the
universe as a preschool, so that their children will grow up to be
successful, well-adjusted, happy adults.

In addition to the wonderful games you can use to celebrate "Parents
Play with Preschoolers At Home Day," UniversalPreschool.com provides
answers and alternatives to help parents, educators, and policy
makers make educational choices that are in the best interests of
young children.

Explore the research, read the articles, take action, and enjoy the
activities with your children that will help them develop their full
potential. UniversalPreschool.com's goal is to help parents make a
better universe, one child at a time, beginning April 15th
with "Parents Play with Preschoolers at Home Day." No foolin'! :)

"Reprinted with permission of the author, Diane Flynn Keith, Copyright 2005,
http://www.UniversalPreschool.com.