I am the Problem

On the recommendation of a friend I am reading the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. The book is subtitled "Nonreligious thoughts on Christian Spirituality". I am not that far into it yet and truth be told I was not that impressed or interested so far, until tonight. I just read a passage that I would like to share with you.

This passage follows a description in the book of the author attending a protest rally against President Bush and his World Trade Policies. The author comes to a realization after this rally that the problem lies within himself as does the solution and not in the wider group. An interesting point to ponder.

"...When we were done, I started wondering if we had accomplished anything. I started wondering whether we could actually change the world. I mean, of course we could - we could change our buying habits, elect socially conscious representatives and that sort of thing, but I honestly don't believe we will be solving the greater human conflict with our efforts. The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same that it has always been.
I am the problem.
I think that every conscious person, every person who is awke to the functioning principles within his reality, has as moment where he stops blaming the problems of the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principle within Christian spirituallity for me to deal with. The problem is not out there, the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest.
The thing I realized on the day we protested... was that it did me no good to protest America's responsibility in global poverty when I wasn't even giving money to my church, which has a terrific homeless ministry. I started feeling very much like a hypocrite.
More than my questions about the efficacy of social action were my questions about my own motives. Do I want social justice for the oprresed, or do I just want to be known as a socially active person? I spend 95 percent of my time thinking about myself anyway. I don't have to watch the evening news to see that the world is bad, I only have to look at myself. I am not browbeating myself here; I am only saying that true change, true life-giving, God-honoring change would have to start with the individual. I was the very problem I had been protesting. I wanted to make a sign that read "I AM THE PROBLEM!"

I could not find a way to cut that smaller and still keep the context and do the author justice, so there you have the thoughts of the author. How simple of a realization and yet how difficult it is to admit to ourselves. The lines that struck a chord with my own personal life are:

"Do I want social justice for the oprresed, or do I just want to be known as a socially active person?"

"The thing I realized on the day we protested... was that it did me no good to protest America's responsibility in global poverty when I wasn't even giving money to my church, which has a terrific homeless ministry. I started feeling very much like a hypocrite....I was the very problem I had been protesting. I wanted to make a sign that read "I AM THE PROBLEM!"

All too often it is easy for us to see a problem and to point it out, all the while ignoring our role in the problem. Ignoring the very solutions that present themselveas at our feet but may be too uncomfortable for us to accept. It is much easier to point out the big problems in society and act as if we can not affect change in those areas because they are too big. When in reality there are many places we can affect change that we choose simply to ignore or forget about. We are walking hypocrites, as consistent as we try to be. We are unwilling to admit our own role in the problem and even more so unwilling to take the difficult steps that we can to make a problem better.

Many of us like to be seen as activists, seen as Christians, seen as people who care or are doing something. Yet when push comes to shove are we really opening our checkbooks, our calendars and our hearts to answer the problems that we are protesting that nothing is being done to fix?

Now I realize that we each are just a single person and we can not be expected to help every cause and every person that comes our way. Even Jesus grew weary of all the healing, yet he kept doing his best. We are called to give our best and we are called to be HONEST with ourselves. Take a hard look at your life. The areas you are protesting are you working for change? Are you doing what is within your power to solve the problem?

If not then get out that sign that says "I AM THE PROBLEM" and then work to fix it.

Peace,
Tenn