September 1, 2003

The Luxury of Time... I had been blessed with a gift in recent days, one that I can not recall the last time I received it, a gift many young mothers and many people for that matter crave and need - the gift of time.

I mean time to just be, time to relax, time to recouperate, time to recover, time to enjoy my newborn daughter and even enjoy my older two children as well. This gift was unexpected and is so appreciated.

My wonderful and amazing husband saved all his vacation time from work and is taking three blessed weeks off! We are starting the third week right now and I can not believe how refreshed I feel. Sure I am still a bit tired and my body is definately still recovering, but this time things have gone so much better than either time before, and the reason is the luxury of time I have had. I can and often do sleep in in the mornings until almost 11am! I take naps when and for how long I want and I could go to bed early, though remnants of my insomnia seem to still keep me awake. I have gotten more sleep in these two weeks than I can ever recall getting anytime after I have had kids.

But it is more than the sleep time (though that is definately a big plus) It is the luxury of not having anything immediate and pressing on my plate, everything else can and is waiting. My husband takes care of the house and meals (though many friends have also brought us meals) and meets the kids needs and even just their wants and everything else can wait. There is no tyranny of the urgent for me (for a change) and it is giving me more perspective and peace and a time of refocus.

I can and have been just laying in bed holding my daughter on my chest, or rocking in a rocking chair staring at her. Or cuddled up in bed with all three of my kids for hours (yes I said hours) on end just reading books to them. Today I actually asked my husband if he thought I was reading to my kids too much (an odd question I know) but we have spent alot of time reading lately. I am just enjoying all the time that I have to spend nursing and holding her. It looks like this little girl is much like her sister, a high-touch baby, she needs to be close and held by someone nearly all the time. Thankfully our family does not mind obliging her and we have the sling for the times when we need to be getting something else done.

I feared that this time I would not have any time to just enjoy the newborn days (my favorite stage in childhood so far) and that my older kids would feel left out. But in reality I have had more time this time and I feel so well connected with all the members of my family. It is such a peaceful and wonderful feeling and I have to send an extra special thank you to my husband who is making it all possible. And another thank you to a wise friend who is the mother of 5 and recommended having these early weeks just be our immediate family, with no outside help or guests. She was right, we decided to tryi it this way and I would recommend it to anyone.

Our family is helpful and they want to help. And yet these first few weeks have been so special with it just being the five of us to bond together, and we have no worries about entertaining or talking to anyone else and we don't carry if we eat PBJ and pancakes for every meal (the kids would actually probably prefer it) which frees us up the time to just bond together. A gift we can neer get back again.

I just woke up from an afternoon nap as I type this and all three of my kids are still sleeping (wonder if that will ever happen again) - my husband ran up to the hardware store to get parts for a household project he is finishing and the house seems so quiet and peaceful. I just became really aware of the luxury of time that I have, to just do whatever I want - to pick up my bible and read, to journal, to pray, to sleep, to eat, to play with my kids, to surf the web or blog here. It is a truley rare gift I intend to fully enjoy for one more week, one I wish for all of you.


No comments:

Post a Comment